Drunk Dialing vs. Drunk Texting

Drunk texting offers proof.
Inbox/Outbox.
You see what was sent, you see what was received.

Drunk dialing is a mystery.
You see the amount of time spent on the phone.
But not the actual conversation.
20 minutes and 32 seconds.
Of what?
Who knows?
Most certainly not you.
Fuck.

Can someone please invent a little plug in that requires you to breathalize into your cell phone before it operates?

My God.

Simple invention...

Yet no one has ventured into that part of it.

If you're a tech genius...and you're reading this...please...get on it.
You'd save me lots of embarrassement.
Lots of "I'm sorry's".
Lots of "Did I really say that?!".
Lots of "Can you recap that convo for me?".

Lord.

Someone make my life amazing and invent.
Free blowjob to the first person who gets it done.