Dear "Friend",
Hope the sex was worth it. Herpes is pretty non-refundable. There is such thing as a code of conduct. I guess I can't blame you. You pretty much only speak "slutish" and "skankanese".
Sincerely,
Laughing Last.
------------------------------------
Dear "Dude",
So ya boned her. Big friggin' whoop. Trust me, it's not an exclusive club. But...you do get a free gift with purchase!!!! I don't want to ruin the surprise. Your doc should be able to elaborate. ;)
Sincerely,
isaidididntwannahavesexbecauseiwastoodrunkbutimeantyourpeniswastoosmall
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